of all the gin joints

you walked through that door
really?
actually?
it still feels a figment
and your fingers opaque
i can see right through
i can see
my chariot into the barricade
spindles and spouts
breath in and
breath out
forget it
not gonna happen
of all the gin joints in all world
i had to fall into yours
while you walked out of mine
of all the gin joints in all the world
not even jurisdiction could keep us
from what is and what was
and what will never be.

just in case you wanted to know what was on my mind at this moment

everything hurts
and I want to rip my hide from my back
and paste it upon my bedroom wall
in tiny pieces for everyone to see
where I've been, and where I'll never go to
and all the reasons I still can't talk to you

2 hits of acid, wine, thursday morning

what else is left
when there's only bits of fabric
slipping between my fingers
my sweat ridden,
sore,
and varnished hands.
two decades and one more
no hearts to lean on
or up against
only friends as fucked up as me
looking to call out in the black
i can't even write
i'm still high
I spent it all away
some honesty
I have feelings for her
but she'll never for me

looks like i'm back where i started again.

door nails

within the soft hum of a city night
i'm left in a flight
in wake of the days the preceded
aromas of what's keeping me sane
bound to my sweater

this is the death song
keeping in
to carry on
this is the death song
i'm lying upon
a familiar lawn

like nothing ever mattered
i'm reminding myself of times
that left me out in the rain
below your window
chipping away
hoping you'd change your mind
in a year's time

this is the song of renaissance
with the curtains beating away
at the window pain
whenever strong winds come
and the sky isn't the same

this is the song for lonely hearts
that have suffered out in the cold
out in the black
out in the ways when we try not to look back

we've grown a million miles a part
and you seem like a ghost to me
i'm apathetic towards any sort of repetition
i'm better now
i know better somehow
i'll remember your smile
for what it was
a lie at times
honest behind closed doors
tears could always tell me more
than your lips ever could
i wonder if he knows everything about you
like i thought i did

liveloveadore

everybody is talking
too loud
everybody is walking
too fast

everybody is talking
about you
and then me too
oh everybody is talking
too loud

i've been picking daisies for hours
just in hopes that
you might take my hand
i wouldn't expect you to understand

when i'm around you
i can feel everything
when you touch me
i can't see anything
i've got you
do you receive?

everybody is talking
about you
everybody is walking
by me

i've been picking daisies for days
just in hopes that
you might send me
i wouldn't expect you to comprehend

maybe the sun was right
maybe the tides too high to tell
at least then i'll know
that you felt it as well.

give me a second, i'm on the other line

the cathedral is calling
some meek whispers
in a static renaissance
they're telling tales
of good days to come
sunshine and storybooks
of your sparkling eyes
and of my vagrant looks

i'd rather be left out at sea
a float
with one million things
beneath
relishing my demise
then to have to wake up
right now
from this bliss

it might be pouring outside, but it's okay, I have something like you

i don't know quite
what's going on
where am i coming to
and going from
and then onto
i like you,
but i like her too
or do i only like myself?
something needs to tell the truth
to you & me & everyone we know
fear & loathing in what we do
what we don't know
so there can be
a sanctity
to only subside
in all due time

there's something more

my bad habits
& worse decisions
dragging myself
through damp & dirty ditches
all for the vindication
and retaliation
of thoughts
unspoken
& unsaid
we only talk in my bed

there's something

under your skin
it moves when i move
and the scent in lingering
on my tongue
and in your hair

i like it when you stare

my morning at Pike Place

and I wake up
my feet are killing me
and my head is filled with...

let's go
time to leave
seventy-six cents in my pocket

why do you have to be like that?
your horns at a curvature
are hard to handle
at times

i'm the wind then
i'm the ocean now
calmly sauntering on
your fire burns me
and i fuel it further
until it's extinguished
by my self sufficiency
saunter
saunter
saunter
forward.

like screaming in my ears

turn the volume all the way up
reverb on the lo-fidelity
and i like where this is going
just one look
that's all it took